Howie picks the 10 worst movies of 2007

Well, it's that time once again: my annual 10 Worst Movies list before I let go of 2007. As usual, I have added up the lost hours that I never will regain from watching these, and I retitled what the movies should have been called.

I feel as if I need to spare others from viewing these so that you can use the hours I have wasted for more productive things, such as vacationing with your loved ones. I am offering up only 10 here, because I don't want you to lose any more time associated with bad flicks, nor should you.

The good news I have to report is that 2008 will see far fewer sequels than this past year, which accounted for a good portion of the releases. Unfortunately, most were horrific, but a few good ones managed to squeak by. I mean, I like a good offbeat comedy as much as the next person, but several here not only set the bar low, but also eliminated the bar altogether and at times forced me to go to one.

So, without any further ado, enjoy these turkeys and know that if you have trouble falling asleep, you can rent any of these to assist you in dozing off, but be warned: Some of these flicks could induce a coma.

"Daddy Day Camp" (PG-13)

(Should have been titled: "Mom Should Get Custody, or Daddy Should Have Worn a Raincoat")

Why is it that studios insist on making sequels when the original star won't do it? Oh, right, the money factor. People won't miss the original actor if he doesn't appear in the sequel. I'm not a huge fan of Keanu Reeves, but at least he proved he had some integrity by not appearing in "Speed 2." Sorry, Sandra. In this sequel to the marginally funnier "Daddy Day Care" (2003), the producers should have killed this project the moment Eddie Murphy turned it down. The first movie had some charming kids in it, at least. Here, not only are the kids annoying, but they're also further proof that it's sometimes better to get a pet than to have a kid. And what is going on with Cuba Gooding Jr.? Is he to suffer the "Oscar Curse" that plagued past Academy Award winners when their post-Oscar choices for movies tanked horribly? We're talkin' Diane Keaton, Halle Berry, Adrien Brody and Roberto Benigni. Who? My point exactly. Gooding is a talented actor, but it just goes to show that unless you have a good story along with good actors, the end result can be disastrous. Even then, it's a crapshoot sometimes, and with this movie, you can drop the "shoot."

"Because I Said So" (PG-13)

(Should have been titled: "Because I Retained Water")

What was Oscar winner Diane Keaton (1977's "Annie Hall") thinking when she took on this whiney role? Sorry to say it, but these type of movies just give credibility to the term "chick flick." As a mother of three daughters, Keaton's overprotective mom figure insists in intervening in her kids' lives, getting them hooked up for marriage - because, after all, no woman's life is complete without a man. Forget about what they want in their lives. The only highlight was seeing Stephen Collins as the laid-back father. The last time Collins and Keaton shared the screen together was during the way funnier "First Wives Club"(1996). This movie sets the funny bar so low, you can play hopscotch over it. Then again, if you like talking about sex and your orgasm experience with your mother, then this picture is for you. Why? Because I said so.

"Norbit" (R)

(Should have been titled: "No Hit")

This was the reason why Eddie Murphy didn't get the Oscar for his role in "Dreamgirls." Not really, because the votes already had been cast, but you know the Academy probably changed some of their votes after Murphy appeared in this nightmare. I'm not saying it hurt his career, but it's probably best he stay animated as Donkey for a while to save face until he finds a movie where he can show his mug again.

"Georgia Rule" (R)

(Should have been titled: "Why the South Lost")

Yet another reason to not like Jane Fonda - as the matriarch of yet more troubled offspring, "Georgia Rule" also stars Lindsay Lohan and Felicity Huffman. Lohan's character was pretty much the same role she has been playing in real life: troubled and ill-mannered. This very clichéd movie incorporates many stereotypes when the troubled Rachel (Lohan) is sent to live with her grandma (Fonda) named Georgia, so, of course, you already know who rules the roost, hence the title. And then there's the requisite abused-childhood upbringing by her father. This was supposed to be a Jane Fonda comeback of sorts, but felt more like a documentary on root canal.

"I Know Who Killed Me" (R)

(Should have been titled: "This Movie Killed Me")

In yet another turkey of a movie, Lindsay Lohan (again?) plays Aubrey Fleming, an intelligent young woman who develops a double personality after being abducted and systematically tortured by a serial killer. In her first adult leading role with some depth, the film relies pretty much on Lohan's acting abilities throughout, which wears thin even with taking on dual personalities. In the back of your mind, you'll keep thinking the movie would have been much better off once all the voices in Lohan's head were silenced.

"Redacted" (R)

(Should have been titled: "Regurgitated Within 10 Minutes")

War movies didn't do as well at the box office as Hollywood had hoped. Even the star-studded "Lions for Lambs" failed to make its initial investment back. Same goes for "Rendition." Reality for many just wasn't their cup of tea, paying for something that already was being bombarded on television for free and for real. Brian De Palma's take on the war fell far short of expectations and came across as just dark and pitiful at times. "Redacted" showed the war in Iraq through a dozen different media formats, but the soldiers in his movie weren't soldiers. They were a poor representation that were not gross stereotypes, but came across as if funded by al-Jazeera TV. Nice try, but the public didn't buy into it.

"I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" (PG-13)

(Should have been titled: "I Now Pronounce This DOA")

This comedy had the potential to be so much more, but unfortunately it slid back into many of the gay stereotypes that exist out there. While the movie at times had a message about what friends will go through to help out one another, it seemed to go for the easy laugh when it could have been a statement blended with humor about how two straight guys (Adam Sandler, Kevin James) fake a gay relationship to reap the health benefits needed for Larry's (played by James) children after his wife dies. Not horrible bad, just a little disappointing, that's all.

"The Brothers Solomon" (R)

(Should have been titled: "Some Kids Need to Be Left Behind")

I can honestly say that this movie is horrible bad, hands down. Too bad, because I really wanted to see the "The Six Million Dollar Man" (Lee Majors) make a comeback. Tough when you're in a coma through most of the movie, though. I was already deep into my coma just 10 minutes into the movie. "Saturday Night Live" regular Will Forte and Will Arnett play brothers who are raised by their single dad (Majors), who takes ill but wants to be a grandfather before he kicks it. It's up to the brothers to find an unwilling woman (who would want their child?) and get her pregnant so that Dad's wish can come true. Why not adopt a child (or borrow one) until Dad croaks and then give it back, sparing us this movie altogether? This movie makes "Dumb & Dumber" look like Shakespeare.

"Evan Almighty" (PG)

(Should have been titled: "See What Happens When Jim Carrey Doesn't Do the Sequel?")

Back in 2003, Jim Carrey had a huge hit when he questioned God (Morgan Freeman) about his existence and was given God-like powers for a short while so he could get a glimpse as a deity to realize how precious life is as a mortal. It was funny, and that should have been that. Why Morgan Freeman ever signed on to do this flop is beyond me. The interesting thing, too, is that the studio actually was going after the family, Christian crowd, which just proves insulting to both families and Christians. They deserve good movies, too, don't they? Steve Carell (who hit paydirt with the surprise hit "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and TV's "The Office") was given the lead role as Evan Baxter (now a congressman), who is told by God to build an ark for the impending flood. What a leap from fellow news anchor (in the first "Bruce Almighty") to politician in this sequel. I can only hope (and pray) that Freeman takes a hint from the Almighty and rests if asked to do another sequel.

"Balls of Fury" (PG-13)

(Should have been titled: "Eunuchs on Prozac")

While I commend the filmmakers for giving the sport of ping-pong its due, the movie itself grows very tiring, almost as if one were following a little white ball back and forth for more than 90 minutes. It's apparent that Christopher Walken is the American version of Britain's Michael Caine, taking any script offered to him and hoping for the best. Tony-winning actor Dan Fogler plays the unconventional lead character here, covering already-over-parodied topics from past flicks, so nothing new here except another two hours dissipated from my already short life span.

(Dis)honorable mentions

-- <b>"Lars and the Real Girl"</b> (PG-13)

Should have been titled: "Guess What Turned Lars Gay?"

-- <b>"Youth Without Youth"</b> (R)

Should have been titled: "Youths Without an Education," or "Kid Nation Is Looking Pretty Good."

- Howie Nave is host/manager of The Improv comedy club inside Harveys and reviews films for seven radio stations throughout Northern California and Nevada, including Sirius Radio. He hosts "Howie's Morning Rush" on Tahoe's KRLT radio, and you can see his film reviews on RSN. For past reviews, blogs and audio clips, visit www.HowieNave.com.