McAvoy Layne

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June 25, 2014
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Pine Nuts: ISIS and the war on women

Though not a good shopper, I’m a fair judge of human nature, at least that’s what my mother told me, so please allow me to pontificate for a moment in her good name.

Allow me to ask, what does the ISIS fear? Modernity? The 21st century? Yes, in particular, there is one word of modernity the ISIS never hears and never wants to hear, and that word is “no” from a woman. We recognize why ISIS forbids educating their women. Keep a woman in the bedroom and in the kitchen, keep her veiled, don’t let her drive or be educated, and she will never be tempted to utter that most dreaded of all dreaded words, “no!”

Mr. ISIS, your centuries of subjugating women are coming to an end. Your women will soon be speaking their minds, and, too, they will be running healthier households, neighborhoods and communities than you could ever imagine in your wildest jihadist dreams.

There’s an old saw, “If horses knew their strength we would all be walking.” Well, when ISIS women discover their strength, ISIS men will be walking, and social media will be the catalyst to make it happen. When the mind of an ISIS woman is finally set free, after lying fallow for so long, that woman will astonish civilization with her progress, and the ISIS man, once he recovers his tempter, will not only be impressed, but proud.

To get to a better understanding of the underlying stratagem of many American men just answer this question, why do men strive for riches? To buy toys? Yes, to buy toys to attract women. Most American men, as the old saying has it, owe their success to their first wife, and their second wife to their success. McMansions are merely tools of the trade.

The ISIS war is a war against women. Though ISIS will never admit it, and their women are not allowed to know it, it is an unspoken war against women. I’m against capital punishment in general, but to stone a woman to death for adultery is beyond the pale. It’s so barbaric as to be unconscionable to the civilized world.

What the ISIS man needs to do, if I may be so bold as to suggest, is to listen to an appeal from Mae West, “Send me a man…who reads.”

Reading good books other than the Koran, Mr. ISIS, will shift your march to jihadism to a march toward pluralism. And if good books do not improve your lot, I will eat my World Cup cap on the midfield of the Estadio do Maracana at halftime.

Which reminds me, I humbly submit we Americans dedicate our family vacation plans this summer to states that follow California, Maryland, Hawaii and Vermont’s lead in raising the minimum wage to at least $10 an hour by 2018. C’mon, America, the “meany” states are not deserving of our hard earned $7.25 an hour, and that means us, Nevada.

To learn more about McAvoy Layne, visit www.ghostoftwain.com.


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Tahoe Daily Tribune Updated Jun 25, 2014 04:40PM Published Jun 25, 2014 10:40AM Copyright 2014 Tahoe Daily Tribune. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.