McAvoy Layne


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September 18, 2013
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Pine Nuts: The US, world cop, takes a little vacation

Let’s take a look at Syria through the eyes of a seventh grader; i.e., me. President Obama maintains, “America is not the world’s policeman.”

He also maintains we are “the anchor of global security.” Well, “anchor of global security” is a euphemism for “world cop,” so let’s call a spade a spade and a cop a cop. My question is, if we are a cop, why are we contemplating a strike on Syria “with modest effort and risk?”

When a cop takes her oath of office does she swear to carry out her duties with modest effort and risk? At this point in time we are being considered by some to be the world’s Keystone Cops.

Sending arms to Syria is akin to sending arms into a prison riot. Let’s see, Assad has killed 100,000. Maybe, if we provide the rebels with enough weapons, the rebels could even the score. The Beach Boys wrote a song about this scenario, it’s called “Help Me, Rhonda.”

Then along comes Vladimir; short, thin Vladimir; slow-walkin’ Vladimir; low-talkin’ Vladimir: “Hey, hold your horses, we’ll step right in the middle of this and take away those ‘poor man’s nuclear weapons.’ Oh, and while we’re at it, we’ll give you Snowden if you’ll give us Alaska back.”

Harry Truman called the Korean War a “police action.” We refuse to call the military overthrow of President Morsi in Egypt a “coup.” And now we are calling our possible attack on Syria an action intended to “deter and degrade.” Cruise and Tomahawk missiles are not designed to “deter and degrade.” They are designed to blow things as high as kingdom come.

So, OK, we’re not going to do a pin prick and we’re not going to do a lobotomy, we’re just going in there to do a root canal. Are you kidding? This is like trying to treat leukemia with a scalpel for Pete’s sake. “A shot across the bow” Mr. President, with all due respect from one who voted for you twice, does not hit the bow.

All right, so let’s call it a “limited” strike. We are telling Assad we are limiting our strike so that everybody else will be sure to limit the retaliation.

Meanwhile, while we’re not watching, over there in North Korea the supreme mousetrap boy is playing HORSE with Dennis Rodman, who is standing in for John Kerry. I can hear Rodman now, “No fair, Kim, you didn’t call ‘backboard.’ Hey we’re not having kimchi for dinner again are we? Don’t you own a barbecue? How’d you like to own your own NBA team? I could coach it for you. They’re looking for a team in Stockton. Say, can’t you put on some different music? That military music is messing with my mojo.”

Getting back to Syria, now we have the word of Assad and Putin that chemical-weapons stockpiles will be destroyed. Well, just as littering reveals an untidy soul and exposes a person capable of other transgressions, gassing a civilian population exposes a person capable of lying. I’m afraid Mr. Assad is employing what Will Rogers called the diplomacy of “nice doggy, nice doggy” until he can get a rock.

In my humble estimation President Obama should ask Congress to authorize a strike should Syria renege. And the beat goes on…

Learn more about McAvoy Layne at www.ghostoftwain.org.


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Tahoe Daily Tribune Updated Sep 18, 2013 07:26PM Published Sep 20, 2013 12:06PM Copyright 2013 Tahoe Daily Tribune. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.