It’s time to move on — grieving process is different for everyone
June 7, 2017
"It's time to move on" is a statement that people who are grieving often hear.
Although people are trying their best to be supportive, this statement is the least helpful. The most important thing to remember when you are grieving is that there is no time frame with grief. One person's grief may last for six months, and another may last for two years or more. The grieving process is different for everyone and can be affected by ones' life experiences, belief system, religion, support system and type of loss.
When people are grieving, they have many different emotions and thoughts that typically fall into one of these stages at any given moment, according to the book "On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss." They are:
Denial: Having difficulty accepting the loss; difficultly completing usual activities
Anger — Anger at self, others, God, life; feeling abandoned and helpless.
Bargaining — Wishing things were different; thinking about "what should have been done" or "what could have been."
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Depression — Feelings of sadness, overwhelmed with the loss and changes, anxiety and fear, isolated and lonely.
Acceptance — Acknowledging the reality of life with the loss; adjusting, healing, and having a sense of hope.
People may experience these stages at different times during the grieving process depending on what is going on in one's life, such as anniversaries and birthdays, and one may experience these stages years later. Though there is no road map for dealing with grief, it's important to trust your own process to best take care of yourself and to do what you feel is needed to move through the grieving process.
Acknowledge what you may be feeling. Nurture yourself through reading, listening to music, journaling, being with friends or being on your own. Seek professional help with a therapist or grief group if you are concern with your grief process at any time. Recognize that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. The grieving process is an individual process and it's not about moving on, but moving forward with your loss.
Resources in South Lake Tahoe include a Grief Support Group through Barton Hospice (http://www.bartonhealth.org/tahoe/hospice.aspx) and individual therapy with the Marianna Randolph, the author of this article who specializes in grief counseling (www.abalancedlifetahoe.com).
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