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From shadows to light: Bridey Thelen-Heidel’s memoir of transformation

SOUTH LAKE TAHOE, Calif. – South Lake Tahoe local Bridey Thelen-Heidel is celebrating the publication of her memoir, Bright Eyes. Heidel’s story delves into her journey of proactive change and self-discovery, reflecting the vibrant shifts in her own life. 

“The story is about surviving my mother, who made the world’s worst choices,” Heidel said. “[I] really had to figure out how to properly untether myself from her, because as a child growing up, rescuing a parent brings codependency; and there’s an addiction element to the rescue as well, because there’s a large payoff for the child, too.”  

Heidel continues, stating that she became her mother’s sole “rescuer,” as well as her siblings’ “rescuer,” consistently throughout her childhood and into her adolescence.  



“This memoir is the story not only about what happened to us and what I survived while living in that environment, but also how I got out,” Heidel said.  

Along with exploring themes of codependency, Heidel also discusses her personal process of going no-contact with her mother, to better serve her mental health, and preserve her children from dealing with similar experiences she had to endure growing up.  



“Like many people in an [abusive] situation, I had several ‘false starts,'” Heidel said. “I tried to leave many times. I was forced to leave on my own at 16 years old. I have little sisters, and felt compelled to take care of them, so I came back to take care of them; but in doing that, I had to come back to my mother, as well.”  

When Heidel finally decided to leave for good, it was after she’d had her own daughter at 30 years old.  

“I realized that if I didn’t leave, then my daughter was going to be subjected to my mother’s patterns and craziness,” Heidel said. “I didn’t want her to see or experience any of that.” 

The last time Heidel saw her mother was at her daughter’s first birthday, where she finally realized it was time to sever ties completely.  

“It’s grueling, I grieved her, I buried her alive, essentially,” Heidel said. “I grieved the mom I wished she was, I grieved the mom she actually was; but it’s been the best thing I could’ve done for myself and my daughter, and I don’t regret it whatsoever.”  

Now, Heidel has been no-contact with her mother for over 20 years. 

“When you’re a kid growing up in these environments, we know that we are very different from the world that we’re in,” Heidel said. “Once I knew that I was in control of my decisions, I was heading towards a better life. I just had to make very hard choices, and had to do everything the complete opposite of what I was exposed to growing up.”  

Heidel elaborates, acknowledging that she had a lot of support surrounding her, and from that, was confident that she wouldn’t slide backwards to talking to her mother again; but the biggest roadblock was learning how to properly forgive for herself and let go.  

When bringing Bright Eyes to fruition, Heidel elaborates that while she’s experienced firsthand the cycle of abuse, she has also watched her students over the years experience abusive cycles with family members and parental figures.  

“I feel like I’ve watched my students over the years get pigeon-holed into the lives and the stories that they’ve been written into at times,” Heidel said. “When I started writing this story, I was writing it for myself to get my stories on paper; then as I continued to write, I realized I was teaching my students about this premise of breaking out of abuse, so there’d be an opportunity to tell this story on a larger scale.”  

Heidel reflects on a pivotal moment in her life that happened in the local South Lake Tahoe community, inspiring her to begin the process of bringing her memoir together.  

“I met my favorite band five years ago, Duran Duran, in front of the community of South Lake Tahoe, who helped me meet them,” Heidel said. “During the meet-and-greet, my best friend said “this [meet-and-greet] would be such a great ending to your book. That next morning, at 5 a.m., I sat down and began to write my story.”  

Heidel expresses her gratitude to the local community for consistently supporting her while bringing her memoir to publication.  

“It’s been such a community effort bringing this memoir together,” Heidel said. “I feel so grateful that people have been so supportive of me by reading my blog and allowing me the platform to share my story.”  

Bright Eyes will be available at all major book sellers in paperback and ebook format for Kindle readers. The book will be available on Sept. 24, and will be celebrated with a launch party at 1:30 pm at The Divided Sky in Meyers, Calif.  


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