Ask Tessie: What should I do about all the dog poo?
February 27, 2017
I recently went snowshoeing at the Nordic ski course in town and was blown away by the amount of dog poop all over the place. What should I do?
I Stepped in it
Welcome to winter in Tahoe. People seem to think that when they kick a little snow over a steaming pile of poo that it just disappears. Wrong. It turns into a poopsicle that reappears on a warm winter day for some unsuspecting chump to step in when he is just trying to enjoy a peaceful snowshoe.
I've been complaining about this forever, and not just in the winter — the beaches in the summertime get their fair share of the canine corncobs, too. Here's the best solution for those who embrace the passive aggressive path in life: public shaming.
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Next time you see someone leaving behind a pile of pudding, snap a photo of that fool, post it in your local Facebook group of choice (Knuckle Draggers of Tahoe Rejects seems to be a fan favorite) and write a witty comment. Now sit back and wait for the likes and comments to roll in.
Or, if you want to be the bigger person, you could always carry around some bags with you in your winter jacket and pick up the stray steamers. Think of it as a good Karmic crap.
I just graduated college, moved up for the winter, and am working as a liftie up at Heavenly. The riding is all time, but I've found it's tough to meet ladies in the après scene up here. Any advice on how to stand out?
Let's be real, man, you came here to shred, not to be the world's greatest ladies man, so get your priorities straight. But in the off chance you're able to sidle up next to a lone lady at the bar without four other dudes talking to her then you've got to be creative since you're running on your ski bum salary.
Start by asking for her name and then ask her if you can buy her a drink. If she says yes DO NOT wait for her to tell you what she is drinking. You can't afford her craft beer choice, man. Get the bartender's attention immediately and order her a tasty PBR. Chances are she's a better skier than you, so when you start talking to her I recommend you steer clear of saying you just skied East Bowl for the first time today and how gnarly it was. She skis the Gunbarrel 25 each year and places quite well so she'll move on to the next guy quick. Instead talk about how you hit the road gap on West Bowl so steezy that you had children asking for your autograph afterwards. Good luck!
Tahoe Tessie is a humorous take on the standard advice column. It is produced by the Tribune staff, and it is not meant to be taken literally. Have a question you want to ask Tessie? Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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