Dear Tessie,

Voting is the actual worst. I mean does one vote even matter? Maybe I’m missing something, but I’m definitely sitting out this upcoming election in June.

Sincerely,

Apathetic Voter

I’ve got words for you, Apathetic Voter. Lots of words.

You must be part of the 72 percent of lazy turd bags who sat on their couches playing Candy Crush during last year’s special election instead of getting off your Kim Kardashian-sized butts and exercising your constitutional right to make sure our government isn’t run by idiots.

Actually, scratch that. I bet you aren’t even registered to vote, which makes me hate you even more.

I hope you drive into a crater-size pothole because you and your indifferent attitude couldn’t be bothered to vote for a measure that would help pay for it to be filled.

“But Tessie,” you say, “all of the candidates in the upcoming election for El Dorado County Supervisor District 5 suck.”

It is true that we in Tahoe may be represented at a county level by a ski bum, a cannabis hater, or someone who loves nothing more than creating committees, but that does not mean you shouldn’t cast your vote for the lesser of evils.

To quote a super dead white dude, “The price of apathy toward public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”

That’s Plato by the way. No, not the stuff your brain is likely made of, you indolent buffoon. The philosopher.

Get online. Register now. And this June AND November you better be checking boxes and helping our community figure out how the hell to regulate cannabis and vacation home rentals so that my friends at the Tribune can stop banging their heads on desks due to some people’s inability to make decisions in a timely manner.

TESSIE OUT.

Tahoe Tessie is a humorous take on the standard advice column. It is produced by the Tribune staff, and it is not meant to be taken literally. Have a question you want to ask Tessie? Send it to tahoetessie@tahoedailytribune.com.