Just wondering: Is it 5 O’clock yet? | TahoeDailyTribune.com
YOUR AD HERE »

Just wondering: Is it 5 O’clock yet?

Wasting time occupies a good majority of the day in almost any office setting.

Clock watchers are a special breed of people, who unknowingly take pride in the quirky tasks they invent to conquer those slow-ticking, thin black hands on circular wall keepers of time.

As for the two of us, we never, ever clock-watch. So, based purely on observation, we have documented 50 ways to waste time:



connecting tiny dots imprinted on important work-related papers; making new words using the letters in your company’s name; sketching the profile of unsuspecting co-workers; repeatedly checking the fax machine, even though you’re not expecting a fax; painting your fingernails with White Out; making out your shopping list; checking your home answering machine; changing your voice-mail greeting three times in one day … it just didn’t sound right; being a one-man rock band with some pens, a rubber band and your trash can; seeing how long you can stare at your computer screen without blinking; testing how much water you can gulp without taking a breath, which spurs another great time-waster – bathroom breaks; blacking in the zeros on your calendar and drawing gigantic stars anywhere there’s space; making paper airplanes; getting up for the seventh time to read the memo on the break room bulletin board; making shapes out of paperclips; dreaming of that perfect date with your perfect bod in that perfect dress; applying lip balm more often than not … moist lips are happy lips; yelling “Fire!” to evacuate the office, if only for a short time; tying loose knots in your hair; calling friends in Amsterdam; seeing how long you can bite on a pen before it breaks; watering your desktop plants; asking your boss stupid questions you already know the answers to; looking up hot celebrities on the Internet to replace your company-logoed computer wallpaper; devising a strategy to sneak the Corn Nuts off your neighbor’s desk without him noticing; pretending to skim over a document that was outdated last week; pondering life’s big questions … How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?; chomping your teeth to beat of “We Will Rock You;” perfecting your wastebasket jump shot; hurling newly sharpened pencils up to the ceiling to see how many you can make stick; highlighting useless information in your employee manual; spinning around on your chair while staring into the glow of buzzing fluorescent lights; scrounging change for your eighth Diet Dr. Pepper of the day … “Would I like to be a pepper too?;” getting a tissue to clean off your eyeglasses, which should take about 10 minutes if you’re doing the job right; thinking up “good” reasons to call in sick tomorrow; cleaning out the evidence of stolen Corn Nuts from underneath your fingernails; sending your cubical companion ESP messages; doing impersonations; making up songs about office enslavement; pressing your red marker into a Post-It until it bleeds through and makes a hole; looking for funny names in the phone book; making up clever nicknames to describe co-workers; balancing your checkbook; retyping your phone list; strengthening your thumbs by clicking your pen, over and over and over; practicing different ways to answer your phone; flaring your nostrils while making fish faces until someone catches you and bitching about how much work you have to … Where will you ever find the time to get it all done?


Support Local Journalism

Support Local Journalism

Readers around the Lake Tahoe Basin and beyond make the Tahoe Tribune's work possible. Your financial contribution supports our efforts to deliver quality, locally relevant journalism.

Now more than ever, your support is critical to help us keep our community informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having locally. Every contribution, however large or small, will make a difference.

Your donation will help us continue to cover COVID-19 and our other vital local news.


Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User


Opinion

Battling food insecurity in our community (Opinion)

|

When we look at our community’s health, there are many factors that determine a person’s ability to thrive. Places where people live, learn, work, and play affect outcomes for health and quality of life. However,…



See more