Right Said Fred, William Hung battle it out in Golden League
It’s no secret: I love minor league baseball, and I really miss it now that another season is in the books. A big reason is their promotions … who can resist the joys of Pajama Date Night (Rookie Pioneer League Orem Owlz); Tribute to the Pickle (Single-A New York-Penn League Mahoning Valley Scrappers), or the West Virginia Power’s huge, gala Salute to Cheese?
But the Long Beach Armada (Independent Golden League in California) were not content with the more pedestrian promotions; they are into the higher concepts. They ask the really big questions, such as: Is there a God? Is there an afterlife? And what is the worst song in the history of the world?
Yes, The Armada decided to tackle life’s toughest question, and opened nominations on their Web site in which fans were asked to offer candidates for the worst song of all time. Voting commenced in July, and a “winner” was announced in August.
It all culminated at Salute to the Worst Song of All Time Night, where the top worst songs were be played over the Armada’s PA system during a game, leading to the announcement of the big winner. And don’t be too eager to assume that “She Bangs” by William Hung came in first. There were many, many worthy contenders.
“This all started when we were sitting around in a meeting trying to decide on some new promotions,” Armada General Manager Jay Klein said. “We were discussing the idea of having a ’70s or ’80s theme night, and we just started talking about all the bad music that came out of those decades. We all had our worst songs, so we decided to put it to a vote. It sounded like something fun and inexpensive.”
And the Armada knows stinky: They’re the team that let Jose Canseco pitch last season.
Nominations included “Disco Duck” by Rick Dees, “Ice, Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice, and of course “When a Man Loves a Woman” by Michael Bolton. “MMM-Bop” by Hanson was the leader at one point, followed closely by “The Macarena,” “Karma Chameleon” and Billy Cyrus’ “Achey Breaky Heart.” About 150 songs were nominated in the first two days.
“With some of them I was like, ‘Hey, I like that song,’ said office manager Ashley Kroger, who was in charge of maintaining the list. “But with some others I was saying ‘Yes, dear God, that’s so awful.’ ” The Armada players even got into the act, including votes by pitcher Dane DeLaRosa (“Oops I Did It Again” by Britney Spears) and utilityman Jeff Larue (“Smack That” by Akon).
The race went down to the wire, with “We Built This City” by Jefferson Starship, “Too Legit to Quit” by MC Hammer and “Party All the Time” by Eddie Murphy separating themselves from the pack in the late going. And the winner was … “We Built This City” by Jefferson Starship.
The final top 10 roster of badness: 1.) “We Built This City,” Jefferson Starship; 2.) “Barbie Girl,” Aqua; 3.) “Macarena,” Los Del Rio; 4.) “MMM-Bop,” Hanson; 5.) “She Bangs,” William Hung; 6.) “Muskrat Love,” Captain & Tenille; 7.) “Achey Breaky Heart,” Billy Ray Cyrus; 8.) “Rico Suave,” Gerardo; 9.) “I’m Too Sexy,” Right Said Fred; 10.) “Tiptoe Through the Tulips,” Tiny Tim.
This column takes no responsibility for any of these songs that you may not be able to get out of your head for the next two weeks.
— Rick Chandler can be contacted at RChandler@tahoedailytribune.com.