Super Triple Marathon? You must be kidding
Lake Tahoe Marathon week kicks off today, and at last count eight runners have registered for the “Super Triple Marathon.”
The Super is a three-day death trot … oops, I mean an exhilarating exercise opportunity, that features marathons on consecutive days followed by the cherry on the sundae: a 72-mile ULTRA marathon a mere 12 hours later.
I thought long and hard about entering the Super event until I realized if I played my cards right, marathon-week organizers might let me enter the Optimist Kids Fun Run.
Now THAT would be tough, and embarrassing.
“Hey, Santa,” I can imagine the little speedsters shouting. “Stop drooling, you’re getting the sand all mushy.
Reminds me of another highlight of my semi-older years: About 10 years ago or so, my wife, daughter and I were living in Olympia, Wash.; I was in my early 40s — balding and heavily bearded.
We routinely walked through our neighborhood, situated near Puget Sound, and frequently found other people out and about.
One day we passed some kids in the street playing baseball with a tennis ball. As we passed, the ball bounded off a bat and rolled straight to me. With the grace of Brooks Robinson — or Mel Brooks, I get them mixed up — I scooped the ball and threw it back.
As we passed, I heard this: “That’s not fair. That OLD MAN touched the ball.”
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Fast forward a few years, and I’m living in Yakima, Wash.
I’m running through my neighborhood bundled up on a cold day. My now-white beard’s visible from my hooded sweatshirt, but not much else. As I run, I pass a man who shouts this: “It’s great to see you exercising (meaning it’s great to someone YOUR age exercising). How old are you?”
“Forty-seven,” I shout.
He laughs, and says: “Yeah, right. Get out of here.”
“I hope you get run over by a garbage truck,” I thought, running off.
Anyway, back to the death trot …
I can tell you from experience that ONE marathon in ONE day is plenty. Two marathons on consecutive days is pure madness. An ultra marathon on the third day is, is … sorry, words escape me.
I think I’m getting a migraine …
But seriously, folks: Have fun running, golfing on caffeine and amphetamines, kayaking, swimming, cycling, walking, OR my favorite – sitting home thanking your lucky stars you don’t have to do any of it.
Good luck everyone, and be careful out there.
— Paul Dunn is editor of the Tahoe Daily Tribune. He can be reached at (530) 542-8047 or firstname.lastname@example.org.